The Pooner's Dilemma

I'm still kind of a young buck, so all this has been new to me. I consider myself extremely against cheating and swore off pooning when I got together with my current girl. We got into a huge fight a few weeks ago, she took all her stuff, was basically moved out. Just when I was about to go see an SP who looked really good, she called me and we made up. Ever since then though I've had this urge to go see that provider. I've been gooning and doing everything I can to get it out of my system, it's affecting my work. My girl is pretty, and she puts out at the drop of a hat. But man I am still struggling. Business has been really good lately, so a part of me thinks oh fuck it I can just fuck high end providers every week and still be up. How do you guys manage it? Do you poon while in a relationship? Would you quit if you got a girlfriend? Should I just stop being a piece of shit and be happy I have a cute girl who loves me?

tritonium said: I'm still kind of a young buck, so all this has been new to me. I consider myself extremely against cheating and swore off pooning when I got together with my current girl. We got into a huge fight a few weeks ago, she took all her stuff, was basically moved out. Just when I was about to go see a girl I was excited to go see she called me and we made up. Ever since then though I've had this urge to go see that provider. I've been gooning and doing everything I can to get it out of my system, it's affecting my work. My girl is pretty, and she puts out at the drop of a hat. But man I am still struggling. Business has been really good lately, so a part of me thinks oh fuck it I can just fuck high end providers every week and still be up. How do you guys manage it? Do you poon while in a relationship? Would you quit if you got a girlfriend? Should I just stop being a piece of shit and be happy I have a cute girl who loves me? Click to expand... I heard that the Jesuits and Franciscans are recruiting and have supposedly mastered the art of controlling the urge . Proceed with caution as there is a lot of misinformation out there ...😕🥴😉

You tasted the forbidden fruit and it will be hard to stop yourself from having fantasies triggering the urge of easy access to satisfy those fantasies. Good luck Keep busy

tritonium said: I'm still kind of a young buck, so all this has been new to me. I consider myself extremely against cheating and swore off pooning when I got together with my current girl. We got into a huge fight a few weeks ago, she took all her stuff, was basically moved out. Just when I was about to go see an SP who looked really good, she called me and we made up. Ever since then though I've had this urge to go see that provider. I've been gooning and doing everything I can to get it out of my system, it's affecting my work. My girl is pretty, and she puts out at the drop of a hat. But man I am still struggling. Business has been really good lately, so a part of me thinks oh fuck it I can just fuck high end providers every week and still be up. How do you guys manage it? Do you poon while in a relationship? Would you quit if you got a girlfriend? Should I just stop being a piece of shit and be happy I have a cute girl who loves me? Click to expand... Dm me the name of the provider and I’ll tell you if you’re really missing something. Better yet, dm me the name and number of your girlfriend; I’ll keep her distracted while you are out getting your dick wet. Kidding, of course.

tritonium said: I'm still kind of a young buck, so all this has been new to me. I consider myself extremely against cheating and swore off pooning when I got together with my current girl. We got into a huge fight a few weeks ago, she took all her stuff, was basically moved out. Just when I was about to go see an SP who looked really good, she called me and we made up. Ever since then though I've had this urge to go see that provider. I've been gooning and doing everything I can to get it out of my system, it's affecting my work. My girl is pretty, and she puts out at the drop of a hat. But man I am still struggling. Business has been really good lately, so a part of me thinks oh fuck it I can just fuck high end providers every week and still be up. How do you guys manage it? Do you poon while in a relationship? Would you quit if you got a girlfriend? Should I just stop being a piece of shit and be happy I have a cute girl who loves me? Click to expand... I guess it would help to have a little more info like did you see SPs at all historically so we know if you’ve already tasted the forbidden fruit. If your GF does all your carnal bidding why not test the waters to see if she is interested in group play or polyamory. One way to test the waters is the next time you’re going at it ask her to tell you about her fantasies cuz it will turn you on. If it’s anything related to another man or woman I would mine that vein. Good luck.

VinVan said: I guess it would help to have a little more info like did you see SPs at all historically so we know if you’ve already tasted the forbidden fruit. If your GF does all your carnal bidding why not test the waters to see if she is interested in group play or polyamory. One way to test the waters is the next time you’re going at it ask her to tell you about her fantasies cuz it will turn you on. If it’s anything related to another man or woman I would mine that vein. Click to expand... Yeah I was seeing lots of SPs before we met. I had slowed down on it but was about once every couple months when we started dating and then I went cold turkey. I didn't have any urges until recently when I thought we were broken up and I was about to go satisfy those urges. She's the most sheltered girl ever, we've talked a bit about poly and she's definitely not into it and neither am I to be honest (yes I know I'm being hypocritical, I'm thinking of pooning while in a monogamous situation). She's also very possessive and jealous.

Monogamy is a choice, perhaps a tradition, but it is not practised by all! https://diemnewsletter.substack.com/p/why-are-we-monogamous "In fewer than 10% of species it is common for two individuals to mate exclusively. While 15-29% of primates favor living together as couples, far fewer commit to monogamy as we know it. Interestingly, anthropological records indicate that approximately 85% of human societies have permitted men to have more than one wife, whether it was because a first wife had fertility issues or wealth allowed for multiple wives. A related but separate thought—I always wonder what women would have done if they made the rules all those centuries ago. Would they have wanted multiple husbands? " SSL

tritonium said: I'm still kind of a young buck, so all this has been new to me. I consider myself extremely against cheating and swore off pooning when I got together with my current girl. We got into a huge fight a few weeks ago, she took all her stuff, was basically moved out. Just when I was about to go see an SP who looked really good, she called me and we made up. Ever since then though I've had this urge to go see that provider. I've been gooning and doing everything I can to get it out of my system, it's affecting my work. My girl is pretty, and she puts out at the drop of a hat. But man I am still struggling. Business has been really good lately, so a part of me thinks oh fuck it I can just fuck high end providers every week and still be up. How do you guys manage it? Do you poon while in a relationship? Would you quit if you got a girlfriend? Should I just stop being a piece of shit and be happy I have a cute girl who loves me? Click to expand... Get it out of your system and go do it. Otherwise, it will effect you mentally

SSL Management said: Monogamy is a choice, perhaps a tradition, but it is not practised by all! https://diemnewsletter.substack.com/p/why-are-we-monogamous "In fewer than 10% of species it is common for two individuals to mate exclusively. While 15-29% of primates favor living together as couples, far fewer commit to monogamy as we know it. Interestingly, anthropological records indicate that approximately 85% of human societies have permitted men to have more than one wife, whether it was because a first wife had fertility issues or wealth allowed for multiple wives. A related but separate thought—I always wonder what women would have done if they made the rules all those centuries ago. Would they have wanted multiple husbands? " SSL Click to expand... If a woman had no need for protection and resources, I doubt they would take on one, let alone multiple husbands. Women clearly have no interest in a patriarchal system nor the authority such a system has over their lives, bodies and choices. They simply choose to get married and deal with men because the benefits outweigh the costs. If society were to eliminate all the legal imposed financial benefits of marriage that come to women (alimony and child support via divorce) our present day declining marriage rate would most likely fall to zero.

Only speaking for myself,but if she's possessive and jealous I'd dump her.

It all depends on your level of guilt. If guilt isn't that strong, go for the SP, and get it out of your system. For now.

It comes down to one thing and one thing only. Do you truly want this relationship with her. You know her boundaries; are you willing to live to these boundaries. A break up can change a person, and clearly this last breakup has changed you. You have to do some self reflection and make some decisions.

If you were in your gfs shoes im sure you'd want her to treat you the way youd want to be treated So if you dont mind if she were to poonin behind your back then it's fine

What I wonder is if pooning, and how much I was doing it, has made it harder for me to tie myself down to one girl and have a normal relationship. Part of me at this point wonders about just being single and going back to pooning it up or finding an SB or something, but I know the logical end of that road is me being alone in the end. grusse said: Only speaking for myself,but if she's possessive and jealous I'd dump her. Click to expand... I didn't have plans on taking her back that day until she genuinely apologized for her behaviour, she's trying to work on it. If she was unrepentant about it this would be a much easier decision to make.

tritonium said: What I wonder is if pooning, and how much I was doing it, has made it harder for me to tie myself down to one girl and have a normal relationship. Part of me at this point wonders about just being single and going back to pooning it up or finding an SB or something, but I know the logical end of that road is me being alone in the end. I didn't have plans on taking her back that day until she genuinely apologized for her behaviour, she's trying to work on it. If she was unrepentant about it this would be a much easier decision to make. Click to expand... Non of us are perfect. You are not perfect Dont cheat/ waste her time/ traumatize her. if you did it i imagine its because she really hurt you and you have no disregard for how your actions will affect her Be honest let her know where you are at, then go experience the fantasy Either way you'll still get to blow your load, Curious do u see yourself being with your gf this time next year? If not end it now

only_lurkn said: Curious do u see yourself being with your gf this time next year? If not end it now Click to expand... Off and on. When we're having issues like we were, I think "oh fuck it she'll just break up with me soon anyways and I'll be single again", when things are good I'm thinking I'll marry this girl. But the more those big fights come up, the less I feel like the latter and the more I feel like the former as my baseline.

Ah man, from a guy who has been around the horn on all of this. 1) fuck this bullshit Guilty Crap. It is something put into the human race by organized (insert controlling interest). Use your intelligence to make your decisions, don't let some conflicting consideration cloud your judgement. 2) you had the big fight, she packed up her shit and moved out ... if that is the maturity level where she could not work it out, it WILL HAPPEN AGAIN. 3) so she fucks like a nymph, super. Ride that wave but 1, 2 need to stay firmly in your mind. 4) prepare for another #2. No shit on this, have a plan in place. 5) you already noted she is not down with any side stuff, so WHEN you step out, keep it to yourself and do all the things all the rest of the guys who understand the ramifications do. If you don't know this, well, god speed. Oh and get over being against cheating WHEN you decide to step out. 6) ignore all this, get married, and god speed. And that is all I have to say on that. MPH out.

I know you're not necessarily looking for relationship advice, however noting the following: "She's also very possessive and jealous." From having been involved in a relationship like this I can say they rarely work out. You're always on guard waiting for the accusation and then needing to explain/convince her there's nothing going on. "I didn't have plans on taking her back that day until she genuinely apologized for her behaviour, she's trying to work on it." Sounds like you've made a decision and it's probably why you have this desire to poon. "Off and on. When we're having issues like we were, I think "oh fuck it she'll just break up with me soon anyways and I'll be single again", when things are good I'm thinking I'll marry this girl. But the more those big fights come up, the less I feel like the latter and the more I feel like the former as my baseline." Having this on again off again issue happening in any relationship will destableize it. You can't relax because you're wondering when the next blow up will occur due to her jealousy and possessiveness. I've found it's all about trust. If she's jealous and possessive she probably has trust/control issues.

Larry's Torch said: I know you're not necessarily looking for relationship advice, however noting the following: "She's also very possessive and jealous." From having been involved in a relationship like this I can say they rarely work out. You're always on guard waiting for the accusation and then needing to explain/convince her there's nothing going on. "I didn't have plans on taking her back that day until she genuinely apologized for her behaviour, she's trying to work on it." Sounds like you've made a decision and it's probably why you have this desire to poon. "Off and on. When we're having issues like we were, I think "oh fuck it she'll just break up with me soon anyways and I'll be single again", when things are good I'm thinking I'll marry this girl. But the more those big fights come up, the less I feel like the latter and the more I feel like the former as my baseline." Having this on again off again issue happening in any relationship will destableize it. You can't relax because you're wondering when the next blow up will occur due to her jealousy and possessiveness. I've found it's all about trust. If she's jealous and possessive she probably has trust/control issues. Click to expand... I am curious if the trust and jealousy issues stem because shes suspicious hes being unfaithful Larry's Torch said: I know you're not necessarily looking for relationship advice, however noting the following: "She's also very possessive and jealous." From having been involved in a relationship like this I can say they rarely work out. You're always on guard waiting for the accusation and then needing to explain/convince her there's nothing going on. "I didn't have plans on taking her back that day until she genuinely apologized for her behaviour, she's trying to work on it." Sounds like you've made a decision and it's probably why you have this desire to poon. "Off and on. When we're having issues like we were, I think "oh fuck it she'll just break up with me soon anyways and I'll be single again", when things are good I'm thinking I'll marry this girl. But the more those big fights come up, the less I feel like the latter and the more I feel like the former as my baseline." Having this on again off again issue happening in any relationship will destableize it. You can't relax because you're wondering when the next blow up will occur due to her jealousy and possessiveness. I've found it's all about trust. If she's jealous and possessive she probably has trust/control issues. Click to expand... Out of curiosity ; was she given reasons to feel this way? Not excusing the jealousy/possessiveness, because that behavior takes a toll no matter what. Always curious about the backstory ; past betrayals, inconsistency, or something that planted that seed? Sometimes people come into relationships already carrying that wound. Other times, it gets fed along the way. Either way, it might be worth knowing before writing it off as purely 'her issue.' Just a thought because if she was given reasons (even unintentionally), that changes the conversation from 'shes flawed' to 'can trust be rebuilt on both sides? I like to think you get back what you put in

sorry buddy, cant really relate. i had this hobby after I pretty much gave up my chance of having a real relationship in my 20s, been avoiding affection. Too lazy to practice pickup lines too.